Letters to a Young G

K,


Without spoiling it, your life is going to be everything you have ever wanted and more, but you won't realize any of this until you're about 27. You have this thing where you feel like a failure if you don't live up to the expectations of the people you love. That type of thinking will lead you places you need to be but may not necessarily want to end up. You will become surrounded by so much love and support that the expectations you should have for yourself will become exhausted making others happy. I don't fault you, it is the safest way to remain peaceful, and for as long as I can remember you've always wanted to remain neutral in life. You are going to go through so many different attempts at finding yourself and who you want to be that it's kinda funny but it's also kinda sad, just kidding.

Three things will change your life the most, stuff you swore you might never get over. First, you will have two different run-ins with the law in two different years that will change the content of your art and view of the world forever. You will see how it feels to have your rights stripped away from you. You will experience firsthand what it is like to be a target of hate based off of the color of your skin. You will protest differently. You start tweeting differently. You will understand just how small and insignificant you can mean to the world.  You will experience a national tragedy that will make headlines and cause your parents to wonder if they should've let you move so far away. Them worrying will also cause you to worry. Second, you are going to fall in love but it won't be reciprocated back. You are going to trip about this for a minute because it won't seem fair. You're going to go through long periods of feeling like everyone else is doing something you should be doing or has something you should have. You're going to feel broken, R&B songs are going to hit differently. During this time you will resent everyone and no one. You will convince yourself that you are the reason things didn't work out and for a year or two, you will do everything you can to be the type of person you thought you had to be to find love. You will do a lot of soul searching and some fucking around. Things aren't going to start making sense until you start believing in yourself the way you believe in others. This third event is going to teach humility. You're going to enter a talent show some years down the line because at that point you've built up enough confidence to feel untouchable. You are shy but not scared. You've confused blind popularity with unyielding support and as a result you don't practice or train your voice. You feel like you got this. Sadly but not surprised you will do horrible but you will learn from those mistakes and that level  of tenacity will carry on into your 20's. You will understand that outside validation should never be a substitute for practice or precision. This will be the first time you feel embarrassed publicly, and as a result you will forever have respect for people who have the courage to share their own art. By now you will understand vulnerability a little better as well.

As you experience life, your failures are going to be instrumental in helping you understand what it means to be at peace. I don't want to give away all the details but things will start to look up once you slow down and live in the present. Therapy will seem hopeless at first but it will help once you start taking it seriously. You have been told since you were young just how bright and intelligent you are, but truth be told you never actually stop learning. Self reflection will become a daily thing for you because you're going to become attracted to self awareness and self growth. You will lose and gain friendships, not out of drama or bad blood but life will take everyone including you, down different paths. This is going to make you depressed for a bit but you do eventually get over it. One day you decide to stop living passive aggressively and get what you feel is yours. You're going to get to a point in your life where you really put yourself first and the fun shit really starts to unravel. You will start to create honest content that's been perfected by experience. You will stop rushing moments and instead live in the present to create that from which is already there. You're going to experience a lot of pain that you won't see the beauty of until you reach 28.

K,

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KT Mosley