I’m going to take a little note from my therapist and talk about focus in this post.

So many times, we’re laser focused on a specific thing, job, person, location, end-goal, etc. And if that specific thing doesn’t come to fruition we count it as a fail. Well what if I told you—you may be focusing on the wrong thing? What if this hyper laser focus is misdirected? What if you’re fighting what insert belief here (God, universe, fate, Buddha—whatever higher being/bigger than you entity is) has for you? What if that job you’ve been praying for isn’t for you? How do you know that it’s not? Very simple—it doesn’t happen for you. I’ve said it before, what’s for you is for you, but I never spoke on what to do when something isn’t for you and where to go from there. Maybe, just maybe, you have to refocus. Figure out if what you’re placing all of this focus on and redirect its path to align with your true passions/goals/hopes/dreams. As unrealistic as they may seem or as far fetched and unattainable as they may be—shifting your focus can drive the energy to actually obtain them.

I’ve exerted a lot of energy towards two major aspects of my life—my career and my education. On many occasions, to be fully transparent, I have come up short with meeting my expectations for advancement in both areas. I have been left wondering over and over, if I’m doing the right thing. If I’m focusing on the right thing. If I indeed should be focusing so much time and energy (and money) in improving and advancing both but still coming up short. I don’t have a clear direction on what my next step is and I don’t feel like I have any real guidance on what to do next. In my heart, I don’t even know if really what I think I’m trying to become is my life’s passion. (That was hard to write.) I’m a terribly logical person (hello, Scorpio). I have invested so much time, money and energy into this, so why would I up and change directions now? Why would I throw away what I have accomplished so far for something seemingly frivolous? You don’t. You steer the course and do the logical thing? Right? But what if I’m focusing on the wrong thing? What if the logical thing isn’t the right thing for me? And every obstacle between me obtaining something that isn’t for me is showing me this. I CLEARLY don’t have the answer to this. I’m still on that journey myself trying to intersect my internal passions/natural talents with what I can live a stable life off of doing.

My daddy said this to me (a little too late, haha)—you have to do what makes you feel good every morning. You can’t work or go to school and be successful if you’re fighting your passion. You’ll always do a better job if you love what you’re doing. And if you love what you’re doing—it’ll still be work, but you’ll enjoy it. Well Cleve (my daddy), I’ll be spending some time on truly FOCUSing on what I want. Not what is logical, what makes sense or is realistic—but on what I truly want.

So, a call to action for each of you reading this: think about what you’re currently focusing on achieving or end-goals you’re wanting to reach. Are there signs telling you this may not be for you? Are you fighting your passions? Are you doing what is realistic  or what is right by your soul? Is your focus truly aligned with what you feel passionate about on the inside? If not, maybe it's time to refocus. Maybe not quit and go live in a tent (unless you really want to)—but shift some of your focus to what makes you excited on the inside. Just maybe after a while—shift a little more, until you realize you’re fully refocused on what really ‘makes you feel good every morning.’

Have a wonderful weekend 20 Somethings.



Brandis Haynes