20 Something Dating: Meltdown
This past Sunday, I had a full-blown 28 year old meltdown. Long story short, the grocery pick-up I ordered wasn't efficient, they were giving me the run-a-round and had poor customer service. I called my parents (because duh) to release my anger and frustration and for them to calm me down (I don't get uncontrollably angry often if almost at all--so it was a little out of character for me). Well in the midst of them calming me down--they light-heartedly joked and laughed about me even using grocery pick-up. And they mentioned how I allowed this same grocery store to do this to me again. (The first time this happened it was on a much lesser scale--still not efficient, but not like this time.) Well, I broke into full-blown heaving and crying. Trying to explain to them through tears how grocery-pick isn't a luxury but a life-line for me. It is a second pair of hands that I don't have meaning, I'm able to let someone else do the shopping while I take care of the other things (see: laundry, cleaning, car repairs, doctor appointments, school work and cooking) that I have to do alone. Oh, and I hung up on them. (Major.)
Side note: I do not think ANYONE needs someone. Or maybe I do--I haven't decided on how I feel about that yet honestly. But I don't have self-pity pertaining where I am in my life.
I know that I'm perfectly capable of getting everything I need to get done for myself by myself. I have for this long and I will continue--even with another "person" my load may not necessarily get any lighter. BUT in that moment on Sunday, I felt like a pathetic loner and everything felt so very overwhelming. I ended up (FINALLY) calming down and watched two movies. I also exchanged apologies with my parents for essentially exploding on them. I did decide, before I went to bed, that I wouldn't transfer this energy into this upcoming week. And I'm happy to say, I woke up Monday morning in a good mood and today has been just fine too.
There is no special formula to getting through moments like this. Moments that are overwhelming and frustrating The idea is that you realize things like this happen and then you move on. We're not perfect and we're not invincible. Some days it'll be messed up grocery pick-up, maybe it'll be burnt dinner or a car breaking down. But it'll always be something and you'll always get through it--with or without a "person."