Intentional Living: Cultivating the Right Friendships

So, I've been MIA for about two months and in that time I've been wrapping up my Spring semester in grad school. I have only one more semester left, a lot of studying and then a cumulative exam to call my journey towards obtaining my M. Ed. completed. My family and friends have championed me through this semester and I'm so grateful.

I say all of this to point us towards the topic of today's blog post: Cultivating the RIGHT Friendships. Friendships are one of the most important relationship dynamics you'll have in your life (see other: God--or whomever you believe in, your family and YOURSELF). I honestly think friendships can feed a part of ourselves that no family or romantic relationship can touch. People are your friends because they WANT to be. They're not obligated or ordained--they choose to love you through it all, unconditionally.

I've realized at this point in my life that my friendships have gotten me through the hardest parts of my adult life--death, loss, mental instability, regret, fear and anxiety. My friends prop me up on days where I can't even find my legs to stand on. And that's why cultivating these friendships are so important. Anyone can be friendly or nice to you but it takes a real commitment to support, love and champion someone else and getting that in return when you need it.

Think about this word, cultivate. The main part of the definition I think of is the part about developing. [Real] Friendships don't happen over night. You have to have a real interest in caring and supporting that person, through the decisions you agree and don't agree with that they decide to make in their life. You will have to be there when the house of cards come tumbling down--without judgment or shaming. 

And a true friendship is two-sided. Remember that. It's not always equal all the time because most of us are going through different things at different times. BUT you should always be able to find a kind heart and listening ear from a [real] friend. I think in this social media instant friendship environment we forget the unsung heroes in our lives--our true friends. So be sure to really cultivate those friendships you value. Tell your friends you love them or call an old friend that you lost touch with but still care about today. A real human connection is the only thing that keeps us humane in a world where the state of some things seem so horrific and scary.

Glad to be back connecting with you all. I have some great things coming this summer!! More ways to stay connected, share ideas and support each other on our 20 Something journeys. 



Brandis Haynes